A Not So Super New Year's Eve
by Accio Abarero
Summary: Jack and Ianto's New Year's Eve gets interrupted when weather controlling megalomaniac comes through the rift and mistakes them for his arch-nemeses. Jack/Ianto.


**Notes:** Thanks to **jennybenz** for coming up with Ianto's nickname XD  
**Warnings:** Bad ice/cold puns. Lots of them. I am sorry in advance.  
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**A Not-So Super New Year's Eve**

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It looked like something straight out of a comic book; the spindly metal legs and the large metal contraption that rode on them. Even the man riding atop it was cackling in true crazed villain fashion- all "Mwa-ha-ha!" this and "I will rule the world!" that. And if that wasn't enough, apparently this nutjob was going to achieve his world domination with his weather machine. If they hadn't seen it pop out of the rift and into the bay themselves, they probably would have just chalked it up to having one too many drinks.

Standing from their vantage point outside the tourist office entrance, Jack sighed as Ianto eased his coat onto his shoulders. "Okay, go ahead and say it."

"I told you so," Ianto stated, a bit irritably. "The moment you wished we'd have a nice, quiet, New Year's Eve you jinxed us."

"Still no reply from Gwen?"

Ianto snorted. "She probably turned off her phone the moment she got home. You know her and Rhys had big plans. Remember, you told her…"

"Oh don't worry about us. Just come running if it looks like the end of the world outside your window," Jack recited, clearly regretting it.

"Precisely. And last I checked, a freak blizzard with lightning and a whacko playing super villain dress-up does not the end of the world make."

"Thanks, Ianto. Very reassuring."

"No problem, sir."

They'd seen some pretty strange stuff spit out by the rift, but this one was definitely different. Space whales, out of time people, and dinosaurs all seemed fairly normal compared to someone who looked like he was armed and ready to fight off heroes in capes.

"So, any brilliant ideas?" Jack asked.

"I could always call Superman and see if he's available," Ianto quipped. Jack rolled his eyes. "Otherwise, I'd say our best bet is to somehow stop his weather machine and send him and it back through the rift."

Glancing down at his hand-held rift monitor, he made a few quick calculations. Grimacing, he turned to Jack.

"And…we have about twenty three minutes to get him back through the rift influx he came through or we're stuck with him."

"Figures. And it's twenty minutes until midnight. Happy New Year, we get to fight Captain Cold."

"I was thinking we could call him Chrono Chiller."

Jack grinned. "You always have a knack with names."

"I do my best, Sir."

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Loading up the SUV with some long-distance weapons and a few other alien gadgets Jack swore would help, the two headed out to where Chrono Chiller was wreaking havoc on the town. His path from the bay was pretty easy to follow, namely due to the giant swirling mass of snow and the bright green lightning bolts; but the extremely iced up and snow covered streets were also a bit of a give-away.

"At least everyone's so drunk no one will need to be retconned," Ianto reasoned as they had to turn away from yet another street that was piled ten inches plus in snow.

"Way to look on the bright side, Ianto."

"We have less than nineteen minutes and have no idea how to stop him. Yep, I'm all about the bright side at the moment." He veered into a nearby alley way and parked the SUV. "Okay, this is as close as we're going to get. We'll just have to catch up from here."

Jack leaned across the seats and pecked Ianto on the lips, "Hey now. Whenever we get done with this mess, we can go back to our own personal New Year's Eve party."

He smirked. "Ah yes, we might need some warming up after this. It is rather _chilly_ out."

Jack chuckled. "Don't start with the ice puns; I'm sure Chiller will have plenty for us as it is."

Sure enough, the out-of-time villain was armed not only with ice-blasters, hail-guns and freeze-bolts, but also had enough bad puns to supply several golden age comics.

"Allow me to break the _ice_, civilians. Tonight's forecast… a _freeze_ is coming." And as if to punctuate his line, he set his ice blasters on the buildings to coat them all in sheets of ice.

Ianto, armed with nothing more than his usual taser and a coil of rope, was meters ahead of Jack as they raced to catch up with Chiller. The captain lagged behind with a large gun strapped to his back.

As Ianto rounded the corner to face the villain, he slid on a puddle of ice and cursed in Welsh. Chrono Chiller's sharp red eyes snapped around to look at him, a cruel smile growing on his face.

"I see you have come at last, Welsh Avenger. And clad like a civilian, no less. Did I _freeze up_ your festivities with your rich friends?"

Not quite sure who the man thought he was, Ianto decided that he might as well go along with it.

"I'll admit, you caught me a bit off guard." Chiller snorted and Ianto continued, "But I won't stand for you ruining all these good people's holiday eve. If you just come with me peacefully…"

"Peacefully?!" He roared. "Like I would! You are too kind for your own good, Welsh Avenger and that shall be your downfall!"

Punching a few of the buttons on his weather machine, he made the body of it rotate to where it was now facing Ianto. One of the metallic arms glinted ominously in the streetlights as he pointed it down at him.

"A weather advisory is now in effect for Cardiff, currently there is a high chance of _hail_ in the area."

"Ianto, get down!" Jack shouted, pushing him out of the way moments before a shower of hail was fired right where he'd been standing.

"Thanks, Jack."

"Aha!" Chiller cackled. "I should have guessed your sidekick would be with you. How n-_ice_ to see you, Jack-Of-All-Trades! Your powers of disguise could never fool me!"

Jack stood up, cockily putting his hands on his hips and looking up. "Didn't you get the memo that this was supposed to be a quiet New Year's Eve?"

"How _chilling_! Like such mundane celebrations matter to me. As the world celebrates the coming of a new year, they will also celebrate a new ruler: me!"

Shrugging, Jack pulled the gun around from his back and aimed. "I had a feeling it was something like that. How 'bout you try this on for size."

A loud shot echoed across the street, and despite its obvious firepower, it managed to do nothing more than put a ding into the metallic shell of the machine.

"Such a persistent pest. Really, I must insist that you _cool off_."

And before Jack could react, Chrono Chiller aimed one of the machine's blaster arms and it fired a high-powered stream of cold water, which started to ice up on the spot.

The crackles of the water turning to ice edged up Jack's body, trapping his legs and then freezing up to his torso and his neck.

"Ianto, bit of a problem over here!"

"I know. I'm working on it!" He knew he had to act fast. They only had minutes to get this guy captured and drop him back into the rift influx in the bay he'd popped out of.

"Ianto!"

Glancing over to Jack, another urgent problem presented itself. The ice casing had crept past his neck and was now starting to cover his mouth as well. In the long run, Jack would survive it; but Ianto didn't think dying of ice suffocation would be a pleasant way to spend the night.

"You have a choice to make, Welsh Avenger," Chrono Chiller said darkly as he pointed his guns up into the air. "Save your sidekick or stop me before I put my final stage into action. Now don't be _cold hearted_ and pick!"

Concentrating as hard as he could, Ianto noticed the placement of the machine's four skinny metal legs and the ice beneath them. Then, without a second thought as to if it would work or how dangerous it was, he ran forward.

As he tied off the rope on a lamppost, Ianto started darting in between the machine's legs, dodging the hail and ice shots that Chiller was aiming at him. Finally looping the rope around the fourth leg, Ianto ran for Jack, who was staring to ice over.

On reaching the iced figure, he wrapped his arm around his neck and pressed a fierce kiss to Jack's frozen lips. Well, he _had_ joked about needing to warm things up.

Chiller started his machine towards them, but before he could move more than a step it began to topple forward; the skinny legs slipping and sliding on the icy street and getting tangled in the rope knotted between them. As the machine came crashing down, Ianto lifted up the hand he'd rested against Jack's back and fired his taser. The two electrodes shot out of it and latched onto a panel on the side of the machine, the electric current just enough to short circuit it and shut it down.

"Nice shooting, Tex," Jack quipped. Between Ianto's warmth and the explosion of the machine nearby, the ice on him had started to melt off. In the distance, they could hear a clock chiming midnight. "Oh and Happy New Year."

Ianto leaned his head against Jack's forehead and sighed. "If it's midnight then that means we have to get this thing back to the bay in," he reached in his pocket and pulled out his stopwatch, "two minutes and fifty seven seconds."

Grinning, Jack pulled one of his arms out of the ice and patted Ianto on the cheek. "I think I have an idea for that."

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After having Myfanwy fly the smoldering weather machine and the unconscious Chrono Chiller back to the bay and drop it into the still present rift influx, Ianto kept an eye on the rift readings to make sure it closed properly.

"There," he said as the influx disappeared on the monitor, "he's back in his own time. I think we just gave whoever his nemesis is a great New Year's gift."

Jack smiled, still draped in a blanket and sipping coffee on the couch. "Who knows, maybe it's us in a couple of years. You would look good in a spandex costume, after all."

Ianto quirked an eyebrow and sat aside his tray. Walking over to Jack, he smirked, "So, sidekick… I hear you're a Jack of _all_ trades."

"Ianto Jones, are you coming onto me with a cheesy superhero pun?"

"I believe I am."

He laughed, pulling aside the blanket and letting Ianto join him under it. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, Jack murmured, "Just checking…Welsh Avenger."


End file.
